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Various

"English Satires"



How Bull and Frog grew jealous that the Lord Strutt intended to
give all his custom to his grandfather, Lewis Baboon.

It happened unfortunately for the peace of our neighbourhood that
this young lord had an old cunning rogue, or, as the Scots call it,
a false loon of a grandfather, that one might justly call a
Jack-of-all-Trades.[176] Sometimes you would see him behind his
counter selling broadcloth, sometimes measuring linen; next day he
would be dealing in mercery-ware. High heads, ribbons, gloves, fans,
and lace he understood to a nicety. Charles Mather could not bubble a
young beau better with a toy; nay, he would descend even to the selling
of tape, garters, and shoe-buckles. When shop was shut up he would go
about the neighbourhood and earn half-a-crown by teaching the young men
and maids to dance. By these methods he had acquired immense riches,
which he used to squander[177] away at back-sword, quarter-staff, and
cudgel-play, in which he took great pleasure, and challenged all the
country. You will say it is no wonder if Bull and Frog should be
jealous of this fellow. "It is not impossible," says Frog to Bull, "but
this old rogue will take the management of the young lord's business
into his hands; besides, the rascal has good ware, and will serve him
as cheap as anybody. In that case, I leave you to judge what must
become of us and our families; we must starve, or turn journeyman to
old Lewis Baboon. Therefore, neighbour, I hold it advisable that we
write to young Lord Strutt to know the bottom of this matter.


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