His
mind was still in a state of so much excitement, that he found, on
reading it over, that he had no power to amend what he had written
hastily, but feeling that it was what he earnestly desired to act up to
himself, and to bring his own mind down to, he hoped the words would not
be without effect on his hearers. If Miss Gwynne took them as intended
personally to touch her, why, he could not help it, and besides, she
probably would be at Llanfawr church, to avoid seeing him.
But this was not the case. Gwynnes, Nugents, Protheros, and many others
of Rowland's neighbours, helped to fill the little church that Sunday,
all anxious to hear him preach; this made him feel nervous in spite of
himself. In vain he reasoned with himself, prayed to forget himself, and
those present--he could not get rid of those haunting words of Miss
Gwynne's, or of the consciousness that she was listening to him.
However, he read the service clearly and impressively, in the manly
tone, and simply religious manner of one who knows that he is leading
the prayers and praises of a congregation who cannot express their wants
too humbly and naturally, to One who knows what they desire, even before
they ask. No one in that church prayed more earnestly to be delivered
from 'all blindness of heart, from pride, vain-glory and hypocrisy; from
envy, hatred, and malice, and all uncharitableness,' than he did.
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