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Quiller-Couch, Arthur Thomas, Sir, 1863-1944

"Old Fires and Profitable Ghosts"

"I observe you don't chew."
He glanced at the stern-window. I opened it. Our talk then ran as
follows:
Capt. W. "I've come to trade."
Self. "Then you have come, sir, to a very bad ship."
Capt. W. "I allowed you would say that. I know all about it, and came
in consequence. I never miss a chance."
Self. "You wish to buy, of course."
Capt. W. "Not at all. I'm here to sell."
Self. "What, pray?"
Capt. W. "A half-hogshead cask of pretty ordinary Geneva: _with_ a
Dutchwoman inside."
Self. "Now, where on earth could you have picked that up?"
Capt. W. (spitting out of window). "In latitude 28 degrees; in a flat
calm; off a Dutch East Indiaman. The name I have at home on a
bit of paper: you shall have it as warranty with the cask.
The captain was drunk, and I traded with the mate. I never
miss a chance. The mate said nothing of the woman inside.
I believe her to be his captain's wife, preserved for burial
ashore. This is painful for me to speak about; for I had the
worst of the deal, and such is not my reputation. But I
allowed I would sell that cask at a profit if I carried it
around for a hundred years."
Self. "What do you ask?"
Capt. W. "Well, I have been enquiring of Mr. '--', your Chief Factor
here; and he tells me that your brother, Mr.


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