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Edgeworth, Maria, 1767-1849

"The Absentee"

'
'Ah! that's the devil, that Mordicai,' said Lord Clonbrony; 'that's the
only man an earth I dread.'
'Why, he is only a coachmaker, is not he!' said Lady Clonbrony: 'I can't
think how you can talk, my lord, of dreading such a low man. Tell him,
if he's troublesome, we won't bespeak any more carriages; and, I'm sure,
I wish you would not be so silly, my lord, to employ him any more, when
you know he disappointed me the last birthday about the landau, which I
have not got yet.'
'Nonsense, my dear,'said Lord Clonbrony; 'you don't know what you are
talking of. Terry, I say, even a friendly execution is an ugly thing.'
'Phoo! phoo!--an ugly thing! So is a fit of the gout--but one's all the
better for it after. 'Tis just a renewal of life, my lord, for which
one must pay a bit of a fine, you know. Take patience, and leave me
to manage all properly--you know I'm used to these things, Only you
recollect, if you please, how I managed my friend Lord --; it's bad to
be mentioning names--but Lord EVERYBODY-KNOWS-WHO--didn't I bring him
through cleverly, when there was that rascally attempt to seize
the family plate? I had notice, and what did I do, but broke open a
partition between that lord's house and my lodgings, which I had taken
next door; and so, when the sheriff's officers were searching below on
the ground floor, I just shoved the plate easy through to my bedchamber
at a moment's warning, and then bid the gentlemen walk in, for they
couldn't set a foot in my paradise, the devils! So they stood looking
at it through the wall, and cursing me and I holding both my sides with
laughter at their fallen faces.


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