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Edgeworth, Maria, 1767-1849

"The Absentee"

'
Lord Colambre was not surprised, but concerned and disgusted, as he
always felt, even when he did not care for the individual, from hearing
anything which tended to lower the female sex in public estimation.
'As to myself,' said he, 'I cannot say I have had an escape, for I don't
think I ever was in much danger.'
'It is difficult to measure danger when it is over--past danger, like
past pain, is soon forgotten,' said the old general. 'At all events, I
rejoice in your present safety.'
'But is she really going to be married to Heathcock?' said Lord
Colambre.
'Positively; they all came over in the same packet with me, and they are
all in town now, buying jewels, and equipages, and horses. Heathcock,
you know, is as good as another man, A PEU PRES, for all those purposes;
his father is dead, and left him a large estate. QUE VOULEZ VOUS? as the
French valet said to me on the occasion. C'EST QUE MONSIEUR EST UN HOMME
DE BIEN: IL A DES BIENS, A CE QU'ON DIT.'
Lord Colambre could not help smiling. 'How they got Heathcock to fall
in love is what puzzles me,' said his lordship. 'I should as soon have
thought of an oyster's falling in love as that being!'
'I own I should have sooner thought,' replied the count, 'Of his falling
in love with an oyster; and so would you, if you had seen him, as I did,
devouring oysters on shipboard.


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