The errors, and humiliations, and heart-burnings that followed upon it,
gave additional effect to the remembrance of his early passion, and
tormented him with the idea, that had he been successful in his suit to
the lovely heiress of Annesley, they might both have shared a happier
destiny. In one of his manuscripts, written long after his marriage,
having accidentally mentioned Miss Chaworth as "my M. A. C." "Alas!"
exclaims he, with a sudden burst of feeling, "why do I say _my_?
Our union would have healed feuds in which blood had been shed by our
fathers; it would have joined lands broad and rich; it would have
joined at least _one_ heart, and two persons not ill-matched in
years-and--and--and--what has been the result?"
But enough of Annesley Hall and the poetical themes connected with it.
I felt as if I could linger for hours about its ruined oratory, and
silent hall, and neglected garden, and spin reveries and dream dreams,
until all became an ideal world around me. The day, however, was fast
declining, and the shadows of evening throwing deeper shades of
melancholy about the place. Taking our leave of the worthy old
housekeeper, therefore, with a small compensation and many thanks for
her civilities, we mounted our horses and pursued our way back to
Newstead Abbey.
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