But I dare
not dwell upon the thought: it would facilitate the event I so much
dread, and contemplate with horror. Yet I cannot help thinking from
people's behavior to me at times, and from after reflections upon my
conduct, that symptoms of the disease are already apparent."
Five months passed away, but the letters written by her, and forwarded
by Colonel Wildman to America relative to her brother's affairs,
remained unanswered; the inquiries instituted by the Colonel had as yet
proved equally fruitless. A deeper gloom and despondency now seemed to
gather upon her mind. She began to talk of leaving Newstead, and
repairing to London, in the vague hope of obtaining relief or redress
by instituting some legal process to ascertain and enforce the will of
her deceased brother. Weeks elapsed, however, before she could summon
up sufficient resolution to tear herself away from the scene of
poetical fascination. The following simple stanzas, selected from a
number written about the time, express, in humble rhymes, the
melancholy that preyed upon her spirits:
"Farewell to thee, Newstead, thy time-riven towers,
Shall meet the fond gaze of the pilgrim no more;
No more may she roam through thy walks and thy bowers.
Pages:
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216