Only to be with you
now and always. None "fairer in my eyes." Your name is music to
me. I love you more than life itself, my own beautiful darling,
my proud sweetheart, my joy, my all! Jealous of everybody. Kiss
your dear hands for me. Love you only. Thine ever. --AYE.
Which, reflected West, was generous of Aye--at ten cents a word
--and in striking contrast to the penurious lover who wrote,
farther along in the column:
--loveu dearly; wantocu; longing; missu--
But those extremely personal notices ran not alone to love.
Mystery, too, was present, especially in the aquatic utterance:
DEFIANT MERMAID: Not mine. Alligators bitingu now. 'Tis well;
delighted. --FIRST FISH.
And the rather sanguinary suggestion:
DE Box: First round; tooth gone. Finale. You will FORGET ME NOT.
At this point West's strawberries arrived and even the Agony
Column could not hold his interest. When the last red berry was
eaten he turned back to read:
WATERLOO: Wed. 11:53 train. Lady who left in taxi and waved,
care to know gent, gray coat? --SINCERE.
Also the more dignified request put forward in:
GREAT CENTRAL: Gentleman who saw lady in bonnet 9 Monday morning
in Great Central Hotel lift would greatly value opportunity of
obtaining introduction.
This exhausted the joys of the Agony Column for the day, and West,
like the solid citizen he really was, took up the Times to discover
what might be the morning's news.
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