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Biggers, Earl Derr, 1884-1933

"The Agony Column"

LARNED.
Thus it happened that, a few minutes later, to the crowd of troubled
Americans in a certain steamship booking office there was added a
wild-eyed young man who further upset all who saw him. To weary
clerks he proclaimed in fiery tones that he must sail on the Saronia.
There seemed to be no way of appeasing him. The offer of a private
liner would not have interested him.
He raved and tore his hair. He ranted. All to no avail. There was,
in plain American, "nothing doing!"
Damp but determined, he sought among the crowd for one who had
bookings on the Saronia. He could find, at first, no one so lucky;
but finally he ran across Tommy Gray. Gray, an old friend, admitted
when pressed that he had a passage on that most desirable boat. But
the offer of all the king's horses and all the king's gold left him
unmoved. Much, he said, as he would have liked to oblige, he and his
wife were determined. They would sail.
It was then that Geoffrey West made a compact with his friend. He
secured from him the necessary steamer labels and it was arranged that
his baggage was to go aboard the Saronia as the property of Gray.
"But," protested Gray, "even suppose you do put this through;
suppose you do manage to sail without a ticket--where will you
sleep? In chains somewhere below, I fancy.


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