Tired with running, I at last gave up the hunt, and walked
soberly home by myself, wondering whether that conversation on the
summit of the hill, and all the curious information I had gathered from
it, should make me the most miserable or the most happy being upon
earth.
Chapter 12
The question whether I had reason to feel happy or the reverse still
occupied me after going to bed, and kept me awake far into the night. I
put it to myself in a variety of ways, concentrating my faculties on it;
but the result still remained doubtful. Mine was a curious position for
a man to be in; for here was I, very much in love with Yoletta, who said
that her age was thirty-one, and yet who knew of only one kind of
love--that sisterly affection which she gave me so unstintingly. Of
course I was surrounded with mysteries, being in the house but not of
it, to the manner born; and I had already arrived at the conclusion that
these mysteries could only be known to me through reading, once that
accomplishment was mine. For it seemed rather a dangerous thing to ask
questions, since the most innocent interrogatory might be taken as an
offense, only to be expiated by solitary confinement and a
bread-and-water diet; or, if not punishable in that way, it would
probably be regarded as a result of the supposed collision of my head
with a stone.
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