Chapter 17
My attack of illness, although sharp, had passed off so quickly that I
confidently looked to complete restoration to my former vigorous state
of health in a very short time. Nevertheless, many days went by, and I
failed to recover strength, but remained pretty much in that condition
of body in which I had quitted the sick-room. This surprised and
distressed me at first, but in a little time I began to get reconciled
to such a state, and even to discover that it had certain advantages,
the chief of which was that the tumult of my mind was over for a season,
so that I craved for nothing very eagerly. My friends advised me to do
no work; but not wishing to eat the bread of idleness--although the
bread was little now, as I had little appetite--I made it a rule to go
every morning to the workhouse, and occupy myself for two or three hours
with some light, mechanical task which put no strain on me, physical or
mental. Even this playing at work fatigued me. Then, after changing my
dress, I would repair to the music-room to resume my search after hidden
knowledge in any books that happened to be there; for I could read now,
a result which my sweet schoolmistress had been the first to see, and at
once she had abandoned the lessons I had loved so much, leaving me to
wander at will, but without a guide, in that wilderness of a strange
literature.
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