"The Smugwumps were now keenly sensible of the perils environing them,
and, abandoning their homes, endeavored to reach their kindred, the
Californians, on the western side of the continent in what is now your
Majesty's ever-blessed realm. But it was too late: the snow growing deeper
and deeper day by day, besieged them in their towns and dwellings, and
they were unable to escape. The last one of them perished about the year
1943, and may God have mercy on his fool soul!"
To this dispatch the Ahkoond replied that it was the royal opinion that
the Smugwumps were served very well right.
Some weeks later I reported thus:
"_Sire:_ The country which your Majesty's munificence is enabling your
devoted servant to explore extends southward and southwestward from
Smugwumpia many hundreds of _prastams_, its eastern and southern borders
being the Wintry Sea and the Fiery Gulf, respectively. The population in
ancient times was composed of Whites and Blacks in about equal numbers and
of about equal moral worth--at least that is the record on the dial of my
ethnograph when set for the twentieth century and given a southern
exposure. The Whites were called Crackers and the Blacks known as Coons.
"I find here none of the barrenness and desolation characterizing the land
of the ancient Pukes, and the climate is not so rigorous and thrilling as
that of the country of the late Smugwumps. It is, indeed, rather agreeable
in point of temperature, and the soil being fertile exceedingly, the whole
land is covered with a dense and rank vegetation.
Pages:
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151