All the old thinking now
came up very strong inside him. He sort of turned away then, and threw
Melanctha from him.
Jeff never, even now, knew what it was that moved him. He never, even
now, was ever sure, he really knew what Melanctha was, when she was
real herself, and honest. He thought he knew, and then there came to
him some moment, just like this one, when she really woke him up to
be strong in him. Then he really knew he could know nothing. He knew
then, he never could know what it was she really wanted with him. He
knew then he never could know really what it was he felt inside him.
It was all so mixed up inside him. All he knew was he wanted very
badly Melanctha should be there beside him, and he wanted very badly,
too, always to throw her from him. What was it really that Melanctha
wanted with him? What was it really, he, Jeff Campbell, wanted she
should give him? "I certainly did think now," Jeff Campbell groaned
inside him, "I certainly did think now I really was knowing all right,
what I wanted. I certainly did really think now I was knowing how to
be trusting with Melanctha. I certainly did think it was like that now
with me sure, after all I've been through all this time with her. And
now I certainly do know I don't know anything that's very real about
her. Oh the good Lord help and keep me!" and Jeff groaned hard inside
him, and he buried his face deep in the green grass underneath him,
and Melanctha Herbert was very silent there beside him.
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