Sometimes when they
had been strong in their loving, and Jeff would have rise inside him
some strange feeling, and Melanctha felt it in him as it would soon be
coming, she would lose herself then in this bad feeling that made her
head act as if she never knew what it was they were doing. And slowly
now, Jeff soon always came to be feeling that his Melanctha would be
hurt very much in her head in the ways he never liked to think of, if
she would ever now again have to listen to his trouble, when he was
telling about what it was he still was wanting to make things for
himself really understanding.
Now Jeff began to have always a strong feeling that Melanctha could no
longer stand it, with all her bad suffering, to let him fight out with
himself what was right for him to be doing. Now he felt he must not,
when she was there with him, keep on, with this kind of fighting that
was always going on inside him. Jeff Campbell never knew yet, what he
thought was the right way, for himself and for all the colored people
to be living. Jeff was coming always each time closer to be really
understanding, but now Melanctha was so bad in her suffering with him,
that he knew she could not any longer have him with her while he was
always showing that he never really yet was sure what it was, the
right way, for them to be really loving.
Jeff saw now he had to go so fast, so that Melanctha never would have
to wait any to get from him always all that she ever wanted.
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