Always now he was the beggar, with
them. Always now Melanctha gave it, not of her need, but from her
bounty to him. Always now Jeff found it getting harder for him.
Sometimes Jeff wanted to tear things away from before him, always
now he wanted to fight things and be angry with them, and always now
Melanctha was so patient to him.
Now, deep inside him, there was always a doubt with Jeff, of
Melanctha's loving. It was not a doubt yet to make him really
doubting, for with that, Jeff never could be really loving, but always
now he knew that something, and that not in him, something was wrong
with their loving. Jeff Campbell could not know any right way to think
out what was inside Melanctha with her loving, he could not use any
way now to reach inside her to find if she was true in her loving, but
now something had gone wrong between them, and now he never felt sure
in him, the way once she had made him, that now at last he really had
got to be understanding.
Melanctha was too many for him. He was helpless to find out the way
she really felt now for him. Often Jeff would ask her, did she really
love him. Always she said, "Yes Jeff, sure, you know that," and now
instead of a full sweet strong love with it, Jeff only felt a patient,
kind endurance in it.
Jeff did not know. If he was right in such a feeling, he certainly
never any more did want to have Melanctha Herbert with him.
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